Help
Using your FOR US files
Two files come with this guide. Read this page once, then begin.
What you receive
- FOR US — Digital Fillable — Type directly onto the writing lines, save your answers, reopen it later, and print it whenever you want to.
- FOR US — Printable — The same 131-page workbook as a clean, unfilled copy for handwriting. Print the whole guide or only the section you are working on.
- START HERE — A one-page guide to setting up your copies before you begin. Read it once, then begin.
How FOR US works
01 · Your own copy — Start with your own perspective.
Each of you works in your own copy — typed into the fillable edition, or handwritten on the printable one. Your first answers come from you, not from watching how your partner answers.
02 · Explore — Find the questions that don’t always come up on their own.
Work through the guide at your own pace, one section at a time. You will discover things about yourself along the way.
03 · Share — Come back together and share what you choose.
Come back together and share the responses that matter most — all of them, some of them, or only the conclusions. The listener listens to understand rather than to prepare a reply.
04 · Reflect back — Make sure what was said is what was heard.
For important answers, the listener reflects back what they understood. That gives the speaker the chance to say “Yes, that’s what I meant” — or “Not quite, let me explain it differently.”
05 · Build — Turn what you discover into something you both want.
Decide what matters, what you want more of, and what the two of you want to build together.
06 · Return — Because both of you will keep changing.
Your copies are yours to keep. Come back after a move, an anniversary, a marriage, a new baby, a career change, a hard season, an exciting one — or simply because it has been a while since you asked each other something real.
Before you begin
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Each person uses their own copy
This is a book for two people. Each partner works in their own copy so that every first answer belongs to the person who wrote it.
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Answer independently first
Complete a section on your own before you compare anything. Reading your partner’s answer first changes the answer you would have given.
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Save a fresh copy before you begin
If you are typing, save your own copy of the fillable file first — for example FOR US — Alex. That keeps one blank original for your partner.
From START HERE
Typing your answers
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FOR US — Digital Fillable
Type directly onto the writing lines, save your answers, reopen it later, and print it whenever you want to. Each line holds one line of text: when a line is full, press Tab to continue on the next one (Shift+Tab goes back).
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Open it in a standard PDF reader
Adobe Acrobat Reader is recommended and free. Most standard PDF readers work. Some web browsers will not save typed answers reliably, so save your file and reopen it to confirm your answers are still there before you rely on it.
From START HERE
Handwriting and tablets
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FOR US — Printable
A clean, unfilled copy for handwriting. Print the whole guide or only the section you are working on.
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On a tablet
The fillable file is the preferred way to type. If you would rather handwrite with a stylus, annotate the printable file in an app such as GoodNotes or Notability.
From START HERE
Finding your download again
A digital download. Exact delivery details are confirmed before checkout opens.
Download links expire after a short time for security, but a fresh one is created whenever you open your order. Keep your own copies once you have them.
If you can’t find it, contact us with the email address you used at checkout and we’ll help.
More questions
How do we each get our own copy?
If you are typing, save your own copy of the fillable file first — for example FOR US — Alex. That keeps one blank original for your partner.
Can I use it on a tablet?
The fillable file is the preferred way to type. If you would rather handwrite with a stylus, annotate the printable file in an app such as GoodNotes or Notability.
Can I print it?
Yes. The printable edition is a clean, unfilled copy for handwriting — print the whole guide or only the section you are working on. You can also print the fillable edition with your typed answers on it.
Do I have to share every answer?
No. You may choose to share all of it, selected sections, or only the conclusions. Privacy and personal boundaries should be respected.
What if we disagree?
Agreement and understanding are not the same thing. The idea is that the listener reflects back what they heard before the conversation moves into explaining, solving, or debating. You can understand someone completely and still see a thing differently.
How long does it take?
It’s designed to be completed at your own pace. Some couples move quickly; others spend far longer on a single section. We haven’t run formal timing tests, so we’d rather not invent a number.
Still stuck?
Tell us what device and PDF app you’re using, and what happened. Please don’t send your answers — we never need them to help.